Wednesday, August 1, 2007


Our daughter is going through a stage right now where she absolutely hates being alone.

This is a child that up until a couple weeks ago, you could put her in her crib in the morning, with a book and some toys, and she'd play happily until you came and got her. Now mind you, we don't leave her in there for hours on end. This was just so I could take that all-coveted shower--you mommies know exactly what I'm talking about.

Recently it's like pulling teeth to put her in her crib, and walk away. The other day she about screamed herself hoarse, she was so distressed I was leaving the room.

I know children go through a phase called "separation anxiety", so what she's doing is completely normal. However, it absolutely breaks my heart to hear the anguish in her little voice when she thinks she's being left and all alone.

As adults we too experience this unwanted aloneness at times. When you want desperately for the phone to ring, with an offer to go to coffee or just hang out. To have someone who is seeking YOU out, who WANTS the pleasure of your company, who likes spending time with you. Yes, you can be the one to pick up the phone and make the call. But then there's the risk of rejection, of "Do they really want to hang out with me, or they just being polite?"

Also I think a lot of times we tell ourselves, "Oh, everyone else is too busy, or they've already got plans with someone else." And yes, there's no denying we're all running 6 ways to Tuesday, with soccer, work, meetings, grocery shopping, doctor's appointments, etc. However, I think you'd be surprised how many people aren't as busy as they'd like people to believe they are. No one wants to admit they're just sitting at home, hoping someone will call to invite them out or over.

Maybe I've just got my head in the sand, and it's just me that's feeling a little too "unbusy", and not in a good way. But I would bet if you were to be brave, and step out, and be the one to make that call, you might just be exactly what someone needs that day to keep going, because you cared enough to take the time, and call.

Feeling like this was maybe a little too transparent, but needed to say it~~may delete it later :-),


Melinda said...

So . . . um would you like to meet for coffee or an evening walk, or am I being too transparent . . . I mean, we do not know each other that well. Actually, I know that you are probably REALLY busy with all that you have going on an all, and actually I am pretty busy, too . . .

Jenni Clayville said...


I feel like that a lot. You're not the only one. I think you're just brave enough to admit it.

I think most people feel that way so they busy themselves up with things that don't matter so instead of not having time for friends (because they're not calling), they don't have time for really anything at all.

Keep these kinds of posts comin', sista!!!