Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Being 2

Oh, the wonderful 2s! A typical conversation at our house:

Little K: "Do you want Teddy Bear & Dolly?"
Mommy: "Sure! I'll give them some lovin'."
Little K: "Don't touch my Teddy Bear & Dolly!!!" all the while she's crying hysterically & throwing herself down upon whatever horizontal surface is available.

Or this:

Mommy: "Would you like me to rub your back?"--after putting her in her crib for nap time.
Little K: "No."
Mommy: "Okay. Have a good rest."---Mommy starts to leave the room.
Little K: "RUB MY BACK! RUB MY BACK!"--and again with the hysterical waterworks.

Prior to Mommyhood, I remember hearing the poem below, and laughing, thinking, "Oh, that's so cute." Now it's my life on a daily basis :-)


The Toddlers' Creed

If I like it, it's mine.
If it's in my hand, it's mine.
If I can take it from you, it's mine.
If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
If It's mine it must never appear to be yours in ANY way.
If I'm doing or building some thing, ALL the pieces are mine.
If It looks just like mine, it's mine.
If It is broken, It's yours!!!
If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.
If it is high, it must be reached.
If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table.
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by me instead.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it is paper, it must be torn.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it is a phone, I must talk to it.
If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
If it is not food, it must be tasted.
If it is food, it must not be tasted.
If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
If it is a carseat, it must be protested with an arched back.
If it is Mommy (or Daddy), it must be hugged.
I am toddler!

Happy Wednesday, friends!


Stephanie said...

I haven't read that since before I had Evelyn... you're right, it DOES take on a whole new meaning now that we are parents!!

Missed seeing you at MOMS today (although we didn't stay the entire time... I had a cranky child!. Hope you are well!!


Anonymous said...

The threes are even better. :) -K-

Allison McKenney said...

I've heard that this time will be repeated again - just wait until she's a teenager! Ha!